Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize