im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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