lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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