areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
