apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
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You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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