Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
