I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
