Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
