She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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