I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
