best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
