HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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