You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
