then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its not stalking. its research.
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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