I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
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So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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