3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
