I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
