Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
