She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
