I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.