Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize