You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
