Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
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And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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