what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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