Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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