I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
