it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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