Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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