Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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