Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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