I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
