He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
