what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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