Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
