I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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