Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
