she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
