I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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