Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
