just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
