eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
please come you make the beer taste better
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
