i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
