dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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