I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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