sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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