I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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