He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
