nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
