I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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