I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
