didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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