I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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