hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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