yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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