Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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