on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
