just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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