I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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