You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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