Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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