Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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