Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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