I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
