mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize