didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize