i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
