I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
