so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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