We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
