Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
