the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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